<10.0> Loving Memories

Today is the 21st day since my father's death.In chinese(or Buddism rather) the family members have to pray this pray that(it is the 3rd week).....so i supposed in Penang,my sis and my aunts are busy enough preparing food + flowers + fruits for my father.Hope that my sis is more ok emotionally by now......it is harder for her coz she has been staying with my father while i am studying in malacca....

Suddenly there are memories flashing on my mind...

-He taught me to sing 小城故事 by Theresa Teng.
-He said he wanna come Malacca to visit me(i was kind of worried where to bring him to jalan jalan in Malacca....u know la...Malacca got nth much to see 1....Penang is much more interesting ...)
(But he did not manage to visit me in malacca...not even once...*sigh*)
-He said wanna see me graduating...wearing the mortar board...with the "clothes" that harry potter always wear 1.
-He said he wanna see my gf.I have been with this girl for 3 and 1/2 years liao...din bring her back to penang to see my papa before.i asked him to come to malacca to see her instead.he said ok.................
-He said that he will recover when i was taking care of him in the hospital.
-And he told me death is also a part of life......


He kind of cheated me...he din pay me a visit in malacca...he din live long enough to see me graduating...he din manage to see my gf also...


Suddenly so many things rushed into my head.....there is simply too much to write...and i guess mentioning all that might just make me even sadder....


I remembered in Form 4 or Form 5 that time....we studied literature...there is one poem....forgotten the author's name...but the title is sth like "There has been a death in the opposite house"........The poem says that if there is a death,the family members will go through 3 stages

1.numbness(u dont feel sad...u will feel "nth")

2.sorrow(sad/grief-stricken)

3.acceptance(u know that sadness is not goinna bring him back,so u just accept it)


I guess i am in stage 2 now......I dowan this sad feeling...but at the same time i dowan to forget him....but thinking of him makes me sad....

Again...how are you? You got miss me/us ma?

I hope that u can achieve Nirvana(as told by the Siamese monk...who came to pray for my father during his funeral)

I have grown up liao....Papa,i know how to take care/protect myself liao...Don worry for me....rest in peace.

I love you,always.